Only a Mother Could Love (Afterlife Book 3) Read online

  At the moment, he was in the kitchen, cooking them both garden omelets. Harper had said no at first, but the growling in her stomach had overruled her refusal, and Alec had just smiled and gone to make them food.

  After a few minutes, he finished, and brought her a plate. He also held out a ginger ale.

  "Thank you," Harper said.

  "No problem," he said, sitting down on the other sofa. "How are you feeling?"

  "Like I got ran over by a truck," Harper admitted. "And I hate being in this sling. Why couldn't I at least get shot in the left shoulder? That would make things a lot easier. I'm not good with my left hand."

  Alec shrugged. "No time like the present to improve your coordination," he said. "Don't worry, you'll heal quickly. Ileana always did. Something about gypsy blood. You don't like to stay down and out, and your body respects that."

  Harper nodded and then dug into her omelet with obvious pleasure. It was delicious, as everything that Alec cooked was. She opened her ginger ale and drank half it in one large gulp. Then she let out a very unladylike belch, and shot Alec an apologetic look. He just smiled at her, and continued to eat his own food.

  When they were both done, Alec took their dishes to the kitchen, rinsed them off, and returned. He stared at Harper for a long moment before clearing his throat. "Harper," he said, "I like you."

  "I like you too, Alec," Harper said dryly.

  "No," he said, "I mean it. I like you. You're beautiful, you're intelligent, you're brave... your sense of humor could use some work--"

  "--Hark who's talking," Harper said.

  "Hey, I can be quite the comedian," Alec said.

  "Right," Harper said. "I'm sure the stand-up crowd just loves you."

  Alec shrugged. "I give the people what they want."

  Harper rolled her eyes.

  "Seriously though," Alec said. "I feel something for you, Harper."

  "Alec..."

  "I know," he said. "That's a lot to spring on a person. Especially considering the fact that I'm a vampire. I've already thought it through. There's nothing that can happen with us. Nothing. I'm not the right man for you. But I wanted you to know how I felt."

  Harper got slowly to her feet, and approached Alec. "Alec, I don't need a lot," she said, deciding on the spot that the things she'd said to Brittney didn't matter. What mattered was her heart, and how it felt. "I just need you."

  Alec stood up, and slid an arm around her waist. "Harper, you need to be resting."

  He walked her back over to her sofa. He carefully pushed her downward, so she was sitting once more. Than he flopped down in front of her, on the floor, cross-legged.

  "We can't make this work," he said after awhile.

  "We can," Harper said.

  "No, we can't," Alec said. "I tried before, with Ileana. I'm not meant to be with someone, Harper."

  Harper shook her head. "You're not meant to be alone either, Alec. Can't we just be together? See how it goes? Try it out?"

  "And then what?" Alec asked. "What then? When you find someone who can give you what you truly want? Someone who can grow old with you, hold your hand and take walks in the park in the sunlight? Someone who can give you children, and a family, and a real life? Someone who can vacation with you in the Bahamas?"

  "I don't even like the Bahamas," Harper whispered, and she leaned forward and kissed Alec for real. Not as Ileana, but as herself. She slipped her right hand behind his neck, and pulled him up closer to her. His lips were ice cold, but oh so soft. She knew then that she'd lied when she'd told Brittney that she didn't love him; perhaps she'd been lying to herself too.

  Because this, this felt right.

  After what felt like hours, Alec pulled away. He put a hand up against her cheek, just like he had when she'd been envisioning herself as Ileana, and though his skin was cold, she felt warm.

  "I'm not Ileana," she finally said.

  "No," he said.

  "I don't want you to compare me to her," Harper said.

  "I don't."

  "You do," Harper said. "And it isn't fair. I can never be what she was to you, and she can never be me. Not now, not ever."

  "I know that," Alec said, sounding frustrated.

  "I think you need to consider that a while longer," Harper said. All of her reasons for not wanting to be with Alec came flooding back to her. "I think you need to consider exactly what you want, and who you want it from."

  Alec stared into her eyes for a moment. "I think you do too," he finally said. "Because you don't want this life, Harper."

  "Maybe..." Harper said. She swallowed, feeling how dry her throat was. "Maybe if it works out between us, maybe you can change me."

  "No!" Alec said.

  "Yes," Harper said. "If things go well, and we're happy together, I want to stay with you. I want to be at your side. Besides, imagine how powerful I'd be as a gypsy-vampire. Nobody would ever mess with me again."

  "I'm not doing that to you," Alec said. "I'm not condemning you to this life."

  "It isn't your choice," Harper said. "It's mine. And if you won't do it, I know other vampires who would be only to happy to--"

  "--Stop talking like that," Alec said sharply. He stood up and glared down at her. "You have no idea what it's like to be a vampire. You have no idea what it takes to not kill people. It's not easy, Harper, and it's not fun. I wake up every single night and have to remind myself that I'm one of the good guys now, that I don't do that kind of thing anymore, that I can be better. Then I go to sleep and the next night, I have to tell myself the exact same thing. Every single night. Do you understand that?"

  Harper sunk back into the couch, surprised by the ferocity of his voice and gaze. "Alec..."

  "No," he said. "When they made me drink blood, Harper, it was like I became someone else. It was like I became the person I used to be. I can't get the taste of it out of my mouth. I can't drink it away, and it doesn't matter what I eat, I'm always hungry. Every time I see a human, every time I see you, I want to feast. I want to drain your blood from your body, and leave you a lifeless husk that serves as nothing more than my food."

  "I didn't know it was so bad," Harper said.

  "Well, now you do," Alec said. "And you want me to say, 'Sure, Harper, sure, I'll make you one of the undead. I'll make it so your heart doesn't beat and your blood doesn't flow. I'll sentence you to a life of hunger and grief and loss. I'll make it so you see your parents die, and your friends die, all while you stay the same, never changing, never growing.' Is that what you want?"

  Harper swallowed.

  "I didn't think so," he said. "Now, let's pretend I never said anything. Let's pretend I kept my feelings to myself, and that you never made that ridiculous offer to become one of the undead. Let's pretend we're just friends until it's true."

  "Alright," Harper said. "You should know, then, that I'm moving out. It's too hard to be this close to you and not have you."

  Alec looked away and then nodded. "Fine," he said, "That's probably a good idea. Where will you go, though? I don't like the idea of you living alone. The rest of us have ways to protect ourselves, but you, you're just a gypsy."

  "I'm not just a gypsy," Harper said sharply. "You can at least respect me enough to know that I can and will defend myself. I stopped Sarah from killing Lewis. I stopped vampire thugs from killing Brittney's brother, and I stopped you from killing all of us. I'm more than a gypsy, Alec, and you know it."

  Maybe it was just her tone, or maybe it was the things she said -- Harper didn't know -- but she saw Alec's pale face flood with color, and he gave a curt nod.

  "You're right," he said, "I'm sorry. You can protect yourself, you're right."

  "It's alright," Harper said. "The truth is, I don't want to be alone. I'm finding an apartment with Brittney. We were supposed to look today, but with Sarah turning into a fury, and that masked demon still about, I don't have time. Speaking of which, what did we find out about her? Anything new?"

  "No," Alec said.
<
br />   "Damn."

  "It doesn't matter," Alec said. "We'll find her and stop her."

  "I want to be there."

  "You can't," Alec said. "I read your discharge papers. No physical activity for two weeks. You have to recover."

  Harper shook her head. "I won't fight, but I will be there," she said. "I have to be. I have to see this thing end. It's my fault a man died last night, and I'm going to do everything in my power to make up for that."

  Alec frowned. "I shouldn't have made it seem like it was your fault," he said. "It wasn't. Everyone else was right; it was family. You didn't have a choice but to go help... what was his name?"

  "Peter."

  "You didn't have a choice but to go help Peter," Alec said. "Now, if you really want to go with us, we'll give it a couple nights. You need at least that long before you're on your feet. We're definitely not going out tonight."

  Harper sighed. "But she could kill again."

  "She could," Alec said, "and in truth, we probably couldn't stop her right now. We'd be on the wrong road, or she'd be more powerful, or something. I feel it in my bones that tonight isn't the night. Don't you feel that too?"

  Harper gave it a long moment of consideration. Finally, she nodded. "Yes,"

  "Anyway," Alec said. He got up and went to the linen closet, retrieved a blanket, and came and placed it over Harper. "Try and get some rest. You need it. I'm going down to the club, but I'll be up every half hour to check on you. If I can't make it for some reason, I'll send Conner, or Chloe. Or Brittney, I suppose."

  "You don't like her much, do you?" Harper asked.

  "I like her just fine," Alec said. When Harper raised an eyebrow, he sighed. "Well, she does seem kind of spoiled, and a little entitled at times."

  "Yeah," Harper said. "Her parents are very wealthy. They've always been there to take care of her every need. But she's changing, Alec. She's not taking money from them anymore, and she's always there when we need her."

  Alec nodded. "I know. I'm trying to give her a chance."

  "She's my best friend," Harper said.

  "I know that too," he said. "I'm not prejudiced against her. I know she's trying, and she's been a big help. Getting us those guns, and with her performance with the police as an FBI agent... she's definitely earning her keep. I just... feel uncomfortable around her for some reason."

  "Maybe she's just too human," Harper said. "Flaws and all."

  Alec laughed. "Perhaps," he agreed. "Now, go to sleep."

  Harper obediently closed her eyes. She peeked them open after a minute and saw Alec still watching her, his arms folded across his chest. "Sleep, Harper."

  "God, you're bossy," Harper teased, but she closed her eyes again. She tried to count her breaths, something that had always helped her fall asleep when she was a little kid. After a while, she started feeling sleepy, and eventually, she drifted off.

  Once again, she dreamed she was Ileana. This time, though, she wasn't standing on a snowy hill. This time, she was already down in the village. She was sitting with a group of people she didn't recognize, but knew that Ileana must be close to, because she felt a sense of contentment and well-being. She'd been laughing when she entered the vision.

  Everyone was speaking fluent Russian but she could still understand them. She found herself leaning back and examining everyone. There was a girl with a short haircut. She looked young, but when you glanced at her eyes, you could see crows' feet forming. The was a man with a hat, who also had wrinkles. He looked his age, unlike the short-haired girl. The others did too; they were obviously great friends, and if she had to guess, they had been for a while.

  They were eating some kind of potato salad and she saw a half-finished plate sitting in front of her. With a small amount of trepidation, she tried it, and found that it was to her liking. It was different from any she'd ever had before; it had carrots, peas, eggs, and pickles, all chopped up together and seasoned with pepper and parsley.

  Briefly, she wondered what happened when she ate in a vision; would it be her or Ileana getting the nutrients? She had to guess it would be her great-grandmother, because she was living out her life through the dreams.

  "So, what do you think, Ileana?" asked the shot-haired woman.

  Harper finished chewing, swallowed, and said, "I'm sorry, my mind was off in another direction. What do I think of what?"

  "Of the vampires that have come to town," the woman said. "The ones that are stalking the children. We need to get rid of them."

  "Well, of course we do," said the man with the hat. "We can't allow them to take our children without retaliation."

  "Yes," said another, "but we have a peace treaty with the vampires. If they don't attack us, we're supposed to leave them alone."

  The man with the hat shook his head. "And what do you think counts as attacking us? They've declared it open season just by taking that first boy. Right, Ileana?"

  Harper considered for a moment and then bowed her head. "Of course," she said, "We can't allow them to take children, no matter who the children belong to. Even if they weren't our own, we have to act. It's our responsibility."

  The man with the hat nodded, as did the woman with the short hair, but the man who'd talked about the treaty shook his head. "If we decide to fight them, I'm completely in," he said, "but I think we're making a mistake. I think we should let someone else handle it."

  "Who else is there?"

  "I don't know," he said. "But there has to be someone else who can handle this problem. We don't want to infuriate them. Don't you remember last time?"

  A thick silence fell upon the group, as they all contemplated this statement. Harper had no idea what they were talking about, of course, but she tried to look as though she was thinking back on another time as well.

  "We lost Abram, and Alexandra, and Valentin last time," the man said. "And that was just the start of our casualties. Don't you remember Liliya? What they did to her?"

  Everyone looked downcast at that.

  The man turned to Harper. "Ileana," he said, "what about that vampire you knew? The one you were with for the longest time? Do you still have a way to contact him? If you do, we can ask him for help. If he's willing, God bless, he can take out the vampires, and we won't be breaking our treaty with them."

  Harper swallowed. She wondered briefly if Ileana was still in contact with Alec, but her gut instinct was that she wasn't. She had a feeling that when they ended things, they ended them for good, and went their separate ways. Still, hadn't Alec once told her he'd always watched Ileana from a distance, as well as all of her kin?

  "I can try and contact him," she finally said. "I don't know if it'll do any good, or if he'll help us, but I can try."

  She looked around, as though she might see him lurking behind some bushes, but all she saw was a memorial with a glistening plaque. It was bright and reflective in the sunlight. She got up, ignoring the others, and went to it. She could see her own reflection in it. She was still Ileana, nothing had changed there, but there were lines on her face and aged liver spots. Her hair was gray, and her lips were chapped and dry.

  Harper felt like someone had punched her in the gut. She reached up, touching her face, tracing the age lines. That was what awaited her if she tried to have a future with Alec. One day, he would disappear, and she would be left looking old.

  She glanced down at her hand, and saw that she was wearing both an engagement ring and a wedding ring. Both of them looked worn and a little scuffed, and she remembered that Ileana hadn't stayed alongside Alec. She'd married someone else, and she'd born his children.

  Harper shook her head. This wasn't helping her at all, if that was the intention of this vision-like dream. She still felt something for Alec, and she still knew it wouldn't work between them. It only hurt worse now because he'd admitted he felt something for her too.

  "Wake up," she whispered to herself. She didn't want to be here anymore, looking at Ileana's aged body and face, and knowing that she could
never have the man she wanted, just as her great-grandmother couldn't.

  Slowly, she opened her eyes. Harper sat up on the couch, rubbing her eyes with her left hand. Her right one hurt terribly, and her head still ached. She didn't see Alec in the apartment, and she assumed that he was downstairs. She got up, used the bathroom, and then went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She briefly considered the painkillers the doctor had prescribed, but in the end, she decided she wanted to have a clear head. Whatever she and Alec had decided about the masked demon, she wanted to be ready to go in an instant.

  Instead of sleeping, Harper began stretching. She didn't try moving her right arm; she knew it was too soon for that, but she did some workouts with her legs, and her left arm. All of her muscles felt sore and stiff, but the longer she worked out, the looser they became. Sarah hadn't been lying when she said that Harper could become addicted to exercise.

  Eventually, Alec came back upstairs, and saw her on the floor, doing sit-ups. "What the hell, Harper?"

  "I couldn't sleep any longer," she said. "Hey, can you make some coffee?"

  "Quit it," he demanded. "You're going to push yourself too hard and end up back in the hospital."

  "I'll be fine," Harper said.

  "No you won't," Alec said. "You're going to hurt yourself because of your pride. I'll make coffee if you get back on that couch and promise not to move for the rest of the night."

  "Fine," Harper agreed. She got up on the couch and laid back down. She recognized that Alec might be right; her head hurt a lot worse than when she'd begun to exercise. "I just want to make sure I stay in tip-top shape."

  Alec shook his head while he rummaged around in the kitchen. "You're not going to get out of shape by taking one night off. Or one day. Or one week."

  Harper groaned.

  "Hey," he said, "I'm not the one who went and got themselves shot."

  Harper scowled at him. His back was turned, and he didn't see it, though.

  "We found out a little more about the masked demon," Alec said, as he brought two cups of coffee into the living room and handed one over. It was prepared just the way she liked it and Harper took it gratefully.